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Stop Treating Internal Networking Like Speed Dating: Why Your Career Depends on Actual Relationships
Related Articles: My Thoughts | Focus Group Posts
Network. Network. Network. That's what every business guru tells you, right? But here's the kicker – most people are absolutely rubbish at internal networking because they're treating it like some weird corporate speed-dating event instead of what it actually is: relationship building.
After 18 years in the corporate trenches, first as a middle manager who couldn't get promoted to save his life, then as a business consultant who's watched countless talented professionals sabotage their own careers, I've got some opinions that might make you uncomfortable. Good. We need to talk about this.
The Coffee Meeting Catastrophe
Let me paint you a picture. Sarah from Finance sends you a meeting invite: "Quick coffee to discuss potential synergies." You rock up to the café, she launches into her elevator pitch about her new project, asks if you know anyone in procurement, then disappears until she needs something else six months later.
Sound familiar?
That's not networking. That's transactional relationship prostitution, and it's killing your career prospects faster than admitting you still use Internet Explorer.
Here's what actually works: Stop asking for stuff. Start being useful.
I learned this the hard way when I was stuck in middle management for three years. Couldn't figure out why the bloke who started after me got promoted twice while I was still fighting for a window desk. Turns out, he wasn't "networking" at all – he was just genuinely helpful to people across departments. When the GM needed someone for a cross-functional project, guess who came to mind?
The Three People Everyone Ignores (But Shouldn't)
The Executive Assistant – Look, I don't care if you think you're too important to chat with the EA. That person knows more about what's really happening in your organisation than the CEO does. They know who's getting fired before HR does. They know which projects are getting funding. They know who actually makes the decisions.
The IT Support Person – These legends can make your life heaven or hell. Plus, they hear everything when they're fixing people's computers. One of my best career moves came from a conversation with our IT manager who mentioned a new digital transformation project that wasn't public yet.
The Facilities/Maintenance Team – They're in every office, every meeting room, every executive floor. They see who's working late, who's having those "closed door" conversations, who's clearing out their desk. Information gold mine.
But here's the thing – don't be fake about it. Actually be interested in these people as humans, not just as career stepping stones.
The Melbourne Phenomenon
Working in Melbourne's CBD for a decade taught me something interesting about Australian networking culture. We're suspicious of obvious networkers. You know the type – they show up to every industry event, collect business cards like Pokémon cards, and their LinkedIn updates read like motivational posters.
Australians can smell insincerity from three postcodes away. We prefer the indirect approach. The shared complaint about the lift being broken. The mutual eye-roll when someone uses "ideate" in a meeting. The genuine offer to help when someone's drowning in a project.
This is why the American-style networking books don't work here. We don't want your elevator pitch. We want to know if you're sound.
What Actually Builds Internal Networks
Regular informal check-ins – Not scheduled "catch-ups" that appear in calendars. I'm talking about the five-minute conversation in the kitchen while you're both making coffee. These conversations build the social capital that formal meetings never will.
Cross-department project volunteering – Even if it's extra work, working on projects outside your department is networking gold. You'll build relationships while actually contributing something useful.
Knowledge sharing – Send interesting articles to people. Not generic leadership fluff – actual useful stuff related to their work. I once sent a procurement specialist an article about supply chain innovations. Six months later, she recommended me for a consulting gig worth $40K.
The lunch invitation strategy – Here's something 73% of professionals never do: invite someone from another department to lunch. Not for any specific reason. Just because. These conversations often reveal opportunities that would never come up in formal settings.
But here's where most people stuff it up – they only network when they need something. That's like only calling your mum when you need money. The best networkers are constantly making deposits in the relationship bank account, so when they need to make a withdrawal, there's actually something there.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Internal Politics
Let's address the elephant in the room. Internal networking is inherently political, and pretending it isn't is naive. Some people get promoted because they're brilliant. Others get promoted because they understand the internal landscape better.
I'm not suggesting you become Machiavelli, but understanding how decisions really get made in your organisation is crucial. And that understanding comes from relationships, not org charts.
The bloke who gets invited to drinks after work isn't necessarily the best performer. But he's the one who hears about opportunities before they're advertised. He knows which departments are expanding. He knows who's thinking about leaving.
Why Most Internal Networking Fails
It's too obvious – Walking up to the senior marketing manager at the Christmas party and launching into your career aspirations isn't networking. It's career suicide.
It's one-sided – You can't just take. You need to give value consistently.
It's impatient – Real relationships take time. Americans think six months is a long-term relationship. Australians need at least a year before they really trust you.
It ignores hierarchy carefully – Yes, you want relationships up the chain. But sideways and downwards relationships are often more valuable. Today's junior analyst might be tomorrow's department head.
Here's something that happened to me early in my consulting days. I helped a junior HR person with a presentation. Didn't think much of it. Three years later, she's the HR Director at a different company and brings me in for a $60K change management project. Best ROI on 30 minutes of help I've ever had.
The Technology Trap
Everyone's obsessed with LinkedIn these days. "Connect with me on LinkedIn!" they cry. But here's the thing – LinkedIn is useful for external networking. For internal networking, it's often counterproductive.
Nothing says "I'm job hunting" like suddenly becoming active on LinkedIn while you're employed. Your colleagues notice. Your boss notices. HR definitely notices.
Internal networking happens in person. In hallways. In meeting rooms. Over actual conversations about actual work challenges.
Building Your Internal Network Without Being Weird
Start small. Pick one person from another department and find a genuine reason to interact with them. Maybe they're working on something that intersects with your area. Maybe they have expertise you could learn from.
Don't overthink it. Australians appreciate straightforward communication. "Hey, I'm working on X and noticed you've got experience with Y. Could I buy you a coffee and pick your brain?" works better than elaborate relationship-building strategies.
Be consistently helpful. When someone mentions a challenge in a meeting, and you know someone who could help, make the introduction. When you come across an article that would interest a colleague, share it. When you hear about an opportunity that would suit someone you know, mention it.
And here's the crucial bit – do this without expecting anything back. At least not immediately.
The best internal networks feel organic because they are organic. They're built on genuine professional relationships, mutual respect, and consistent helpfulness.
Your career isn't just about what you know or how well you perform. It's about who knows what you know and who trusts you to deliver. And that's what real internal networking builds.
Stop treating networking like a transaction and start treating it like relationship building. Your future self will thank you for it.
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